A MORTifying Life (WTFutureShips kids)
by GraffitiMDSoul
Summary: {WARNING: Contains TomTord and cola losers if you hate these ships than I'm sorry but this fic ain't for you.} Years after The END, Tord rose the Red leader, the event only made him stronger. However unseen effects of The End come to light, during a trip to an abandoned island. Which is where we enter with our protag, who stumbled upon these effects. (PLS REVIEW YOUR THOUGHTS)


Tord could only blink in confusion and shock, I mean, who wouldn't? When you see something as bizarre as 3 children, one whose appearance is a mix of yourself and your nemesis who cost you your arm, clinging to a tree screaming bloody murder, with another child that looks a bit like an old friend trying to pull the former off, and a third child who resembles you two most trusted soldiers, looking at this scene with innocent confusion. All he can think is 'What the fuck'. They were literally in the middle of nowhere, on an island that's on a giant tortoise's shell in the ocean. Who could possibly find 3 fucking children that look like yourself and people that you know, who apparently are friends with a unicorn named George and an Island tortoise named Henry? Tord could slap himself at the stupidity, but if he learned anything from his time with his old friends, that Edd's dumb luck is absolute… and must be genetic. So with one of the children seemingly being Edd's, he should expect this.

His child, as those horns for hair, couldn't be from anyone else, is still screaming- no he's cursing and yelling now, in Norwegian and English, the British version of course. Yup, definitely his, as some of those phrases are typically his... and did hear 'Holy son of a hamster who smelt of elderberries!' throw in there? Yeah... the other biological parent of his newfound spawn was confirmed, as only he used those types of phrase, and the eyes, or lack of, only sealed it. The Norwegian could only dig in his pockets for a cigar, as this was officially the weirdest encounter he's had since he left his old friends, and he runs a fucking army! With a long drag of his vice, he forced himself to look once again at the bizarre scene.

Now the unicorn is helping tear his child, he still couldn't fathom how that is possible, from the tree. The child of his soldiers somehow got a chair and popcorn and is watching the show, so much for her innocence. With a sigh for his sanity, he trudged over to the children and unicorn, the latter who gave him a nod and backed off. Using his metal arm, he swiftly ripped his son from the tree he clung to, and in the process sending Edd's spawn to the ground. His son, surprisingly quieted immediately when he was in Tord's grip, sockets still wide, but mouth shut at least, that was getting annoying.

While having a chance, he gazed at his child's features, trying to see what was his and what was Tom's. His son had his skin color and cheekbones, but Tom's eyes(or lack of) and jaw. The boy's hair was Tom's color, but style mostly like a mix of both of theirs. As it has the horns and the flared ends, but with two spikes framing the former. The ears had the point of his own, though he had Tom's earlobe. The body was mostly hidden under the orange hoodie, and Tord will deny he preened a bit that his son's color was closer to red than blue. His child's shoes were slip-ons with a brown and orange diamond checker pattern, with square cut tan jeans. It was an average fashion choice, but Tord could help but think how better his son would look in an outfit similar to his. His prideful fantasy was interrupted by an irritated yet nervous voice.

"No offense sir, but, well, can you please let me down, sir?" The voice was high, as expected with a child, yet the accent was thick, and a mix of Norwegian and British, which was stronger though, that was not stable. Tord stared at his son, who's socket were a void all too familiar to him…

Before rudely, his child was pulled from his grip, by the growling Edd spawn, whose eyes bore on him… with recognition? He squinted at both of the boys, and in both of their features, he was recognized. The Spawn of that cola obsessed man glare back at him, till his son poked him in the ribs by his elbow, all with a pointed look, wariness open across his face.

"You do know you really shouldn't grab people out of nowhere mister?" A feminine voice inquired, cause all three heads to turn to the last child, who just tilted her head, not at all recognizing me. "Bruce tends to get defensive around outsider, not that there are many. But Mister, it wasn't really nice to rip Mort off the tree, his screaming irritating or not," she now stood right in front of me, her head staining to look up at me, as she was surprising short for a child of Patrick.

"Laura!" Roared The Edd spawn, Bruce. While my son, Mort.. a Decent enough name, unique and probably short for something, like Tom's, Squeaked the same name, still glancing at me with worry, but no fear, as it should be, as my son should have nothing to fear from me. Bruce, the rude child, pulled Laura back with more force than necessary, his gaze full of protective rage, and sadly no fear, though the worry was there, his rage overtook it. I made a move to press the button that would have Pau and Patrick come to my location, as they deserve to see their child, though it was done in a way that would look like fluffing my coat to the kids.

Making my way over, which had Bruce put himself even more between me and the other two children. I bent my knees, trying to get to their eye level, to make myself less threatening. The rude boy only growled some more, though this time was interrupted by the unicorn who had faded before into the background. The beast huffed softly, causing the children to react, as they seem to understand the creature or at least the shortest one could.

"That was exactly what we told you not to do George!" Bruce murmured with irritation After the only girl whispered a translation whatever the unicorn said to his ears, his hands flying up to grip at his hair in annoyance, " We told you to make sure any outsiders got sent to the more dangerous parts, not right to us!" The unicorn neighed, a more resolute than the one before, this time it was Mort who responded after the girl whispered him the translation of course.

"Yes, we know He can offer much more protection for us, yet that comes with drawbacks too!" My son crossed his arms, give an exaggerated huff with an adorable pout, "I wanted to avoid those types of situation, to enjoy my youth, not worry 'bout battles and other stuff.." Obviously My kid and his... Friends? Maybe... They are more knowledgeable than they should be, as the grew up on an island in the middle of nowhere.

"Do you mean the news that Lilly and her flock get for us? You never let me see much of it…" That was the only girl speaking, Laura I believe. She was staring at the boys with confusion clear on her face, "If I remember you always kept me away from them, something about not wanting to ruin my innocence?"

The boys both flinch at that, both mumbling about her being the only one who never saw it. Now I was curious, as the knowledge of me could be explained by those newspapers they seem to be getting, but the "it" seems to predate that, with a different sort of knowledge.

Finally, I heard the crunch of boots, and Patrick voice calling for me in Norwegian. The children initially turn in the direction of my loyal soldiers, Laura with a quiet hva, while my son uttered a quick faen, a surprise as we were conversing in English before. Bruce was the only confused on what said, though he did murmur ano, so obviously he was the only one who didn't speak or understand Norwegian of the three children but was still bilingual.

When the footsteps stopped, I looked back, as both Pau and Patrick were staring at the children, though mostly Laura with an expression on their faces that was probably on mine when I saw Mort for the first time. Quickly standing, I swiftly made my way over to the two lovers, a smile that was full of pride graced my face.

"Pau! Patrick! Just on time, I would like you to meet Bruce," I gesture toward Bruce who was seemly too shocked to growl, "My son, Mort," Both the children and my soldiers had an expression of shock and panic, the latter more so on my son and Bruce. So they knew, that explained the worry present in both. "And here's the shocker for you two, your daughter Laura!" I chuckled at the pure raw panic on that rude child's face, my son had more of a look of registration as if he knew there was no escape now, though I wonder why he thought so despairingly about this situation. Both Patrick and Laura look at each other in identical expressions of confused wonder and hope, while Paul was openly shocked, a sight not seen much.

Ignoring the splutter of denial from both sides, I quickly approached and hauled my son into my arms, an adorable squeak and blush come from my heir. As I strutted back to my-well now our ship, I notice the unicorn was trotting along behind me, I gave it a raised eyebrow, and the beast responded with a deadpan look.

TIME SKIP*

Once we were on the ship, the few soldiers in the halls gave a look at the boy in my arms and the unicorn at my side, but a quick glare from the beast and me shut them down. My son was tense most of the walk, face in hands as to avoid the blush staining his face. The Unicorn stayed outside the room, as it trusted me to take care of what I needed and want to do. Inside was the private medic bay, one that is reserved for me and my most trusted. Calling up one of the doctors was easy as a few already standing when I came in.

"Nurse Fredson." was the statement I made, the most qualify and loyal to the staff rising and rushing up to me at her name being called. " I need this boy to have a full physical," I turn to her and the other in the room with a face of cold dominance, " and this part is to stay confidential, a paternity test." The glare I gave to the staff shows my immense pleasure if this got to be known outside of the room.

I place my son down on one of the beds, taking a chance to see his face again. He was looking up at me, the blush was mostly gone, but his mouth tugs down in confusion. I suppose I should feel mad that my heir is also Tom's, but instead a deep satisfaction burns inside. I take a moment to imagine Tom at my side, with Mort between us, both smiling. My heart burns as I imagine reshaping Tom to this image, to see that hate turn to love, to rid him of his apathy and vices. A Warm fire fills my chest at that, and even more, to imagine even more children of ours would look like. I notice Mort shift in the bed, looking at me with a sad soft smile as if he knows what I'm thinking.

"I do, your thinking of him by your side aren't you… Ha, I guess you already know who the other parent is, don't you? I mean the eyes, or well, lack of, make it pretty clear." the boy's voice was just a whisper, his face cast in sorrow as if he knows what happened. "They probably would've followed you, ya know? Edd would of, Matt would follow Edd, and Tom would be dragged along if you told the truth. I bet that if they are rebelling, it not for the war, or to stop you, but to bring you 'home' or to prove something to you." This was said wistfully, with such knowledge that he should not have. "Heh… If you're wondering how I know, I was born on that event, well changed, or made, whatever. Basically 'The End' was the start of my 'Beginning'. Laura was already there though, and Bruce followed soon after. For some reason, we know things we shouldn't, as we were babies at that age…" His voice faded off at the end, sorrow clear in it, yet I could felt as though something was off about his story, and the made part worries me, but even then….

With a deep breath, I decided to do something I normally wouldn't of, that is, if it wasn't my son. I hugged him, close and at tight as I could while being gentle with my strength, as to not hurt him. After a few seconds, I felt the tense muscles relax, and his arms shakingly return the hug. My child, my son buried his head between my shoulders, sobbing with tears that were bottle up. He even smelt of Me and Tom, of gunpowder and pineapples. This act only reaffirmed my desire, Tom will join me at my side, no ifs or buts, as my, no, our child needs him as much as he needs me.

"Um… Red Leader sir, we are ready to start the physical…" I heard Nurse.., Fredson wasn't it? ask, even though it was meant to be a statement. I nod towards her, as I slowly pull my body out of the embrace till I was only holding my son's hand in my non-metal one. "Umm, okay, we will start with some questions first, okay?" she once again asked, fidgeting in her stance. Mort, still puffy and red-eyed from his tears, gave a stiff nod.

"Your name, dob, age, gender, blood type, and allergies are needed." She states, more confident due to working in her environment.

"Mortimer, Mort for short. March 12, and I'm 8 years old. Umm.. my biologies different from Bruce's or Laura's, I'm intersex, but I identify as Male? Uh, I don't know my Blood type, live on Henry, the tortoise who the island is his shell, all my life, and I don't know, I not allergic to anything on the island, but outside, I don't know…" My son, Mortimer it seems, Dead sea, considering where we are I'm not surprised, was rambling, nervous, as it seems this is the first time he went through something like this. And what's about a different biology? It seemed the Nurse shared my confusion on a few of those answers, but she recovers fast.

"Okay, they were going to have to do some blood testing, and then the urine test. Before that, can I start the physical exam, which needs you to take off some of your clothes." I'm impressed, the Nurse is in her zone as her fidgeting is gone, and curiosity is in her eyes, though the latter cause some protective urges to rise in me, I know that the Nurse won't overstep her boundaries with me here.

Mort gave a short nod, before hesitantly removing his hand from my grip to pull off his Hoodie. Underneath was a pumpkin orange t-shirt with a black jack o lantern face on it. He then pulls that shirt off, placing it with his hoodie in his lap. I finally get to see his body under all those baggy clothes and I am glad his hand was not in mine. My son had stark muscles, but barely any fat, as his ribs were able to be seen, and claw marks and scar litter his chest. The chair I was in creaked at my grip, leaving indents in the metal, but I could care less, my son looks like he came from a war. The nurse seems to share my sentiments and she stiffly asks how he's got the scars. And he had the gall to look embarrassed!

"Well after we got old enough that solid food was needed, someone had to hunt. So since Laura could speak to animals, Uh, George gave us gifts when we came into his care, Laura gains the Ability to speak any language, Bruce is indestructible, and I… well I tell that later." At this point he noticed the rage of both along with the curiosity, so after a nervous chuckle, Mort continued, "So Laura could speak to animals, she could hear the screams, so she couldn't hunt, and Laura was better with herbs and gardening anyway. Bruce was still pretty young, so hunting came to me. I'm pretty good at it too!... It just that a lot of the animals here are not ordinary, and many dangerous, so I had to fight off a lot of predators from my kills, I always won though! But during the early days, I was left pretty beaten up from the fights, even now sometimes if the beasts are a bit more vicious than usual…" He paused in his speech and turn toward me, concern in his eyes, probably sense my rage at what he had to do. My Son, My Mort, who was hurt and fought wild rabid beasts to survive, gently laid his hand on mine, trying to comfort me. To my annoyance it worked, I was still mad, but not enraged as before. Then I noticed Nurse Fredson, who looked terrified and like a deer in headlights. She was shaking, and her breathing shallow. I gave her a nod to signify that I have calmed down.

"Well… uhh, to get a more accurate result, we need to do the blood test, just for better readings, and for the paternity test. Can we, um, do that Red leader?" She was Stuttering, all composer lost in face of my anger, knowing how I can be, it is not a surprise.

"Of course Nurse Fredson, as You are not planning on hurting him, **_Correct_**." I smoothly stated, the threat clear in the last word. She nodding quickly and hurried off to collect the equipment needed.

More hour later, both the blood and urine gathering were done, and ready for testing. I myself was tired from the day of surprises, along with Patrick and Pau who brought in Bruce and Laura, later on, the Laura in Pau arms and Patrick following with an expression a joy which was match by Laura. Though the Brat was just sulking behind them. Both of the children went through the same testing, though Bruce did not have a paternity test, Patrick was willing to take him in till we did find his parents.

The Brat wasn't much of a Brat, since did apologize to me, and told me how he was the one to patch Mort up the best he could, and joined him the hunts when he was old enough and could understand the meaning of the scars, so he was just protective. It reminded me of a more emotional Pau I would say. Mort fell asleep soon after that, he cuddled close to me but didn't snore, Bruce snort when I said that, as he told me that he was the one who snores of the three, not Mort.

I look down at my son, cuddle in the blankets, his chest slowly rising and falling. He faces peaceful and adorable, a faint smile on his face. The Result of the Paternity test came back for Mort, it was positive, and told me what I already knew, that this boy, this miracle, on an island on the back of a giant tortoise, in the middle of the ocean, was my son. All that was missing was Tom being mine and mine alone. A fault that would be remedied soon, since once Tom is in my grasp, he will never be leaving.

FEW WEEKS LATER*

TOM'S POV

Tom Panted, it was a harsh trip, as he was almost caught by some red soldiers near the rebel outpost. It was far from a pleasent situation, he suspected, with that the red army would slowly be closing in on them. In truth, He was the only one taking this war as it is, out of him and his friends. Edd was trying to bring Tord 'home', as he already forgave the damn commie years ago. Matt was trying to prove that he was more than a pretty face to Tord,... well at least that was the starting thought, now Matt doesn't even remember what it was like before the rebellion. The one surprise over the years was the neighbors joining them, along with Edd and Eduardo becoming a couple, though the sexual tension was clear once you saw it. Mark and Jon, who thankfully survived the explosion, and came out as a couple. Matt was taken by Himself, as one of the clones from long ago survived, so of course, Matt wouldn't settle for anything less.

Even Tom himself has to be honest, he not in this at all to stop the red army, but rather to pull one over that damn commie, and if he felt any guilt over blasting that commie out of the sky or causing those scars and loss of the bastard's arm, he will deny to ends of the earth. Hell, even the red army isn't actually doing any evil. If Tom has to be honest he would say that the area in the Commie's control does better than before. Sometimes he wishes he never did that, or the Commie just told them. Edd probably would have signed up right away to help the damn commie, but no, he had to keep quiet and force them to fucking rebel against something he's not even sure is bad!

Tom sighed, letting out his frustration, as he approached the camp. He was forced into patrol duty due to his monster side, an effect of the demon that tried possessing him, and instead merged with him all those years ago, hell the only reason he didn't use it on the commie was that he wasn't thinking! He would slap his past self if he didn't already know the effects of time travel like that. He decides to avoid contact more than necessary, so instead of walk, he sulked through the shadow to the Deal with Tord's Shit room as he liked to call it. Edd and Eduardo were already in the room paper splayed between the two on the table in front of them. Edd was probably doodling while Eduardo did the real work.

"Hey, got a report here, the red bitches are getting a bit too close to rebels borders." Tom huffed, as he waved it off, nonchalant. He walked toward the dark blue cabinet near the side of the room, the place where he kept his stash of Smirnoff. Taking a swing of one of the bottles Tom continued his report.

"Almost got caught by a few, and it looks like the high ranks too. Some of the bitches were weird looking though, one had giant eyebrows, I swear they were caterpillars that took to nesting on his face!" He gave a chuckle at that memory, till he saw the panic look on Eduardo's face.

"What?"

The Filipino man's face twitched in annoyance.

"Tom, that was one of Tord's right hands, please tell me there wasn't any freakishly tall man with chicken wings for bangs with him?" Eduardo pleaded. Tom gave a bit a thought to who he saw, none matched.

"Nope."

"Oh thank the fucking havens-"

"Though I think eyebrows might of saw me."

"DAMMIT TOM!" Eduardo screamed, Edd falling out of his seat, no longer distracted by his drawings. "OUT OF ALL THE POSSIBLE- no not going there, you just fucked us over you know, there are wanted posters for you, ALIVE, everywhere, and if he got a glimpse of you, well they will bring in the big guns."

"Big guns?" Edd asked, face covered with concern.

"Tord." Was all Eduardo stated, and the reactions of Edd and himself were different as night and day. Edd lit up at that, going non-stop about how much he missed Tord and how he can bring him home, while Tom choked on his drink, spitting out the alcohol which was followed by a wide array of curses.

That reveal was only made worse when one of the lower ranking rebels ran in, panting and screaming bloody murder about being attacked. Tom himself had one response to that.

"Well, Fuck."

SOME TIME BEFORE*

PAU'S POV

Pau was glad he went to scout out with some of the lower ranks, as Patrick was nothing short of a ball of constant affection once Laura's test came back positive. They had a biological daughter, and Patrick was over the moon, as while they were Tord's parent figures, it could not compare to having a biological child of their own, something they gave up hoping for long ago. Laura is a miracle to both Patrick and Pau himself. He's happy but Patrick needs to calm down from his emotional high, which is usually fine to deal with, but that along with Tord's pining and creepy protective affection over his son? Yeah, nope da fuck out for Pau, he is not dealing with that.

The troops were stationed at the outer edge of some woods, when Pau felt someone's sight on him, or more specifically, his eyebrows. He took a glace in the direction of the gaze only to find a flash of blue and purple candy-cane striped horns... and void like eyeless sockets. It was exactly who could stop the nightmare of any sane man that is a pining Tord, the object of the Pining, Tom... Or that could be Mort, but Pau douts the boy can get out of Tord's sight this soon. It has only been a few weeks since they found the children after all. And it would be orange and pink not blue and purple.

With a relief and bit of pride in finally finding him, Pau sent some of the rookies after the man. After the chase was on, he took out the communicator and directly called Tord, no way will that pinning ass miss a chance like this.

"What is it, Pau?" Tord voice came out clear as day, and to the less knowledgeable man, it would sound annoyed, but Pau could see that it was just his professional attitude.

"Vee hafe fount him." He didn't even need to say the name, Tord knew right away, and responded with the brightest smile Pau has ever seen from him toward something or someone other than Mort.

"I will be right over!" His boss chirped, he fucking chirped. Scratch pining, Tord was head over heels for that man. Holy shit. Pau for once glad he was alone and Tord already ended the call cause holy shit. He gaped with an expression of pure disbelief, that was the man who caused the leader of Russia to shit his pants with a single glance, fucking hell.

Regaining his composure, and just in time as the rookies had returned. Staring down the newbies, he could help but crackle on the inside, he always wanted to say this!

"Soldiers, tonight vee attack."


End file.
